Many, maybe never were fully converted, many of us aren't, many lack support, many have fallen to the large and spacious building or the pride cycle in the Book of Mormon, the world has consumed their faith and faithfulness, but for many I think it is just too hard, or they are hurt or choose to be offended, or it takes too much time or effort or they have or are looking in the wrong direction for peace and happiness or anything else of eternal worth, or they are just tired, sometimes tired of doing it alone. For some, their priorities are askew or they don't see their own value or worth or as Sister Rosemary Wixom said in her April 2015 conference address (this is the following night and I am reading again), some just have questions and are trying to find answers and their faith. She shares the following story of a young mother who had been raised in the church and trying to find her own answers ...
... she read a book of the writings of Mother Teresa, who had shared similar feelings. In a 1953 letter, Mother Teresa wrote: “Please pray specially for me that I may not spoil His work and that Our Lord may show Himself--for there is such terrible darkness within me, as if everything was dead. It has been like this more or less from the time I started ‘the work.’ Ask Our Lord to give me courage.”
Archbishop Périer responded: “God guides you, dear Mother; you are not so much in the dark as you think. The path to be followed may not always be clear at once. Pray for light; do not decide too quickly, listen to what others have to say, consider their reasons. You will always find something to help you. … Guided by faith, by prayer, and by reason with a right intention, you have enough.”
My friend thought if Mother Teresa could live her religion without all the answers and without a feeling of clarity in all things, maybe she could too. She could take one simple step forward in faith--and then another. She could focus on the truths she did believe and let those truths fill her mind and heart.Someone once told me that not all those that are wandering are not always lost, they are just wandering.
I also just (2nd late night) read Scott's uncle, Elder Brent Nielsen's talk, "Waiting for the Prodigal " from the same conference and I sit here in tears. I remember the talk, but didn't know Elder Nielsen at the time. It follows the story of his sister Susan who left the church, " However, in 1994 our sister, Susan, became disenchanted with the Church and some of its teachings. She was persuaded by those who mocked and criticized the early leaders of the Church. She allowed her faith in living prophets and apostles to diminish. Over time, her doubts overcame her faith, and she chose to leave the Church." They continued to love and surround Susan and her family over the years and never gave up hope that she would return. At the close of his talk he says, "
" Susan describes this experience just as Lehi described it in the Book of Mormon. She let go of the iron rod and found herself in a mist of darkness (see 1 Nephi 8:23). She states that she did not know she was lost until her faith was reawakened by the Light of Christ, which brightly magnified the stark contrast between what she was experiencing in the world and what the Lord and her family were offering."
We talk to senior missionaries and ward leaders about the prevalence of disregard for the prophets or the words and commandments especially those that talk about sexual morality. And that is not just nonmembers ... members who have a complete knowledge of the gospel. We now even tell YSA to just come to church, even just Sunday School, and bring their partners, hoping that they will feel the spirit again and want to come back. I know this is not just in England and that this happens in Bountiful, Utah also, but here the numbers are staggering. Marriage is just not the norm. It is another reason they fall away from their faith. We have joked with the missionaries that maybe they could have a questionnaire that reads, "Do you smoke or drink alcohol?" "Do you have transportation?" "Are you married?" Do you have a job (added by the ward mission leader), Tick, tick, tick, tick, tick! Missionary work is hard when you have to help them stop smoking and drinking and get them married. On Guernsey we even offered to host a reception and wedding in our house for a couple. We prayed for them and tool their names to the temple often and instead of accepting our offer they broke up after seventeen years. I am not sure if our praying worked or maybe it did.
If you expect to find perfect people here, you will be disappointed. But if you seek the pure doctrine of Christ, the word of God “which healeth the wounded soul,”and the sanctifying influence of the Holy Ghost, then here you will find them. In this age of waning faith—in this age when so many feel distanced from heaven’s embrace—here you will find a people who yearn to know and draw closer to their Savior by serving God and fellowmen, just like you. Come, join with us!
I am reminded of a time in the Savior’s life when many abandoned Him. Jesus asked His twelve disciples: “Will ye also go away? “Then Simon Peter answered him, Lord, to whom shall we go? thou hast the words of eternal life.”There are times when we have to answer the same question. Will we also go away? Or will we, like Peter, hold fast to the words of eternal life? If you seek truth, meaning, and a way to transform faith into action; if you are looking for a place of belonging: Come, join with us! If you have left the faith you once embraced: Come back again. Join with us! If you are tempted to give up: Stay yet a little longer. There is room for you here. I plead with all who hear or read these words: Come, join with us. Come heed the call of the gentle Christ. Take up your cross and follow Him. Come, join with us! For here you will find what is precious beyond price. I testify that here you will find the words of eternal life, the promise of blessed redemption, and the pathway to peace and happiness. I earnestly pray that your own search for truth will impress upon your heart the desire to come and join with us. In the sacred name of Jesus Christ, amen. (President Deiter Uchtdorf, 2013, Come Join With Us )
We have a friend who has apparently been involved with a group of members who go around the country (U.S.) to talk to people who are not active in the church and attempt to have a spiritual dialogue with them and answer their questions. I don't know the name of the group, but I was trying to research it the other day and it may be the group "Faith Again." I know Terryl and Fiona Givens, https://www.terrylgivens.com/ the authors of "The Christ Who Heals" (Deseret 2017); "The Crucible of Doubt" (Deseret 2014), and "The God Who Weeps" (Deseret, 2012) are somehow connected to the group. I haven't read "The Christ Who Heals," but I am going to order it today.
(Hours later) Besides my reading in 3rd Nephi, today I have read and listened to 'My Grace is Sufficient" by Brad Wilcox, and a podcast by him on LDS Perspectives, part of the "Infinite Atonement" by Tad Callister and the three conference talks I have referred to above. I have read other passages of similar content on LDS Living. I just listened to the video " The Prodigal Son, because I think we are always the son and the father. I would want to welcome back so many the same way and I am sure my Father thinks about me in the same light continually, "She was lost ..."
Last Saturday night we took Thomas to dinner. We love Thomas and he joined the church September 2, 2017 on Guernsey and left three days later for college in Chichester. We face-timed with the senior missionaries before he left and thought we had him connected to the sister missionaries. They both moved soon after his arrival. He came to church once and then everyone changed and he apparently was "jumped" in Chichester and had to have surgery to move his cheekbone back in place. Thomas was "lost." We invited him to dinner in Chichester two Saturdays ago, just after he got back from Christmas break and when I saw him on the High Street (South Street) I cried (I know some of you think that is just normal). I was so glad to see him. If it had been appropriate and I could still run, I would have run to meet him. After dinner we talked to him about coming to church and at first I didn't know if he would, but he exercised faith and came, he said, "He would try it again." I had someone meet him at the train station in Chichester and then someone brought him back after the second hour as he had a practice. We went to his volleyball game that Wednesday in the pouring and sleeting rain, he came to church again and this time a young couple volunteered to pick him up each Sunday. I bring him dinner each Sunday as he misses the only cafeteria meal of the day when he stays for the two hours. I feel like my son has come home! The Wells, who are on Guernsey told us that President Crew and Elder Wells visited with Greta when he was last on Guernsey and told her to just come when she could for as long as she wanted, but to at least take the sacrament. Greta didn't come that first Sunday but she came the next. JOY for both Elder Hewlett and I. We have told you how much we love Greta and that her not wanting to come again broke my heart. President Crew has such love and speaks with such love and we have such love for him and faith in him. Those two experiences have brought me so much JOY! I wish I could see many, many more souls return, and if I am joyful, I know my Father In Heaven is joyful, after all we are all his children and we are all brothers and sisters. That is the power of Grace and the Atonement. A quote on the wall in front of me relates ( maybe it doesn't relate at all) in some way to all of us who struggle, feel like we fall short or are alone and sometimes loose some faith,
When in situations of stress, we wonder if there is any more in us to give, we can be comforted to know that God, who knows our capabilities perfectly, placed us here to succeed. No one was foreordained to fail or to be wicked. When we have been weighed and found wanting, let us remember that we were measured before and were found equal to our tasks; and therefore, let us continue but with a more determined discipleship." (Elder Maxwell Ensign, Feb 1979,73.)
"One's life, therefore, cannot be both faith-filled and stress-free ... Therefore, how can you and I really expect to glide naively through life,a s if to say, "Lord, give me experience, but not grief, not sorrow, not pain, not opposition, not betrayal, and certainly not to be forsaken. Keep from me, Lord, all those experiences which made Thee what Thou Art! Then let me come and dwell with Thee and fully share Thy joy!"
Wow, this is long and it started in the middle of last night. It is time to try the middle of the night again. (I tried it and I am back at the computer). I am not one who often says it came to me in the middle of the night, but I can tell you when I got up this morning, I could not find on my facebook page the post I found last night, "Lord is it I?" I would love to serve more deeply, more meaningfully and certainly be better/ I have a lot to work on. Hopefully this spiritual wandering has helped the past few days. I have moved from, "Is it I," to lost sheep and everywhere in between. Maybe I have to take care of myself before I can help others. That is where I have been led. I still do not know what to do. (Sorry this is a pretty heavy post)
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